| roses for valentines |
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| 11:06am 13/04/2009 |
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The real reason i bought the dozen rosses in wolverhampton, was not because i thought it'd be inapropriate, but because i wantted to watch them die... hopefully with my love for amber.
However when i saw her again, i just had to give her them... i don't know why, probably the same reason why i get tempted to buy her flowers every time i walk past a flower store... because i didn't remember her favourite flower.
I wish i could stop thinkin of her, i realy do... i just want to sort of get on with my life, forget her... mark her up as an ex... but i can't... and it's startin to annoy me now.
I asked her if i could see her again soon, she seemed to smile when i suggested christmas... but i guess i'm just clutching to straws in hopes she's just testing me.
I'm such a sap.
though her hand round my neck while andrew wasn't looking... damn... that turned me on lol
wish i could chear up a lottle |
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| self harm |
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| 05:41pm 13/04/2009 |
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just been cutting again... don't know why... just felt like it.
none of the cuts went deep, infact i'm surprised it started bleadin as much as it did.
Then my dad came up to tell me he was takin nana home.
I tried to hide it from him... but the blood was pourin over my arm
stained a white t-shirt with blood now
and my fav blue jeans.
I don't even know why i wanted to cut
i don't know why i struggled to get the blade
sevreal little slices down '18-12'
don't even make me feel good
infact i started cryin when my dad reliesed
i can't stand being alive any more... it's all just shit |
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